[Türkçe çeviri için yorum bölümüne bkz.]
“When you choose to break dysfunctional cycles and heal yourself, you break negative generational cycles and heal your lineage”
In fairy tales, there is often a character whose sole purpose is to introduce doubt into your mission. Like a strong tide their influence can pull you away from the shores of your truth, tempting you to renounce your secret vow altogether.
These characters are not always unsympathetic – they may even be folks you admire – but when you are subtly attuned to your nature, you’ll notice yourself wilting in their presence, taking on their diminishing view of your abilities.
Like eating something that doesn’t agree with you, this will give you a sour feeling in your belly, which sometimes grows into a rejection of life itself. In the worst of times, it may seem to stretch into an ocean of lostness in every direction.
When you find yourself in such an untethered place, there is a secret which can anchor you back into intimacy with your vow: The recognition that you are only susceptible to the invalidation which matches a companion vulnerability in your own standpoint.
Now, this isn’t to say that the other is not being an empirical jerk, but that in their jerkness, they’ve brought to light a place within that requires fortification. It is the thing that keeps us in relationship with those who don’t see us, or which holds us back from fully emerging with our gifts. You may even recognise it as an almost comfortable self-abandonment, where your losses outnumber your triumphs and “that’s how it will always be”.
But in the Dreaming Way, these periods of detachment are invitations to deepen your vow. To make boundaries against those sour-belly influences, tightening your circle of intimacy, taking symbolic steps towards that which knows your true name. This can be as simple as keeping a daily list of those beautiful things which conspire in your favour, recognising the tiny triumphs that are keeping you from downspiraling, or exalting in some physically symbolic way the life you are calling towards you.
Destiny is not to be mistaken with fate, where one has no influence upon its outcome. It requires us to take steps towards it, to parent its growth especially in times of doubt and weakness. And if we find the courage to move in its direction despite the absence of grand signs, we are often graced by the small miracles of confirmation and synchronicity that we’d been hoping for all along.
This painting reminded me of times long before I met with Nico. I was coming out of a deep depression and found the path of self-discovery. In this period of curiosity, doing small steps, following hints like a scout I was fortunate to have a dream. I was in a sinking boat, everything was scattered and I tried to hold myself above the water on a piece of wood. As far as I remember I tried to eat bread at the same time (not so sure about this anymore). Wondering what this dream means (and feeling at the same time that it is not an ordinary one) I came across a paragraph in “The School of Gods”. It was describing exactly the dream I had and talking about an entire transformation about one’s values and belief systems. I smiled, because I understood. A few days later I was in a yellow dolmush to Taksim and saw a boat model made of wooden planks. The boat was filled with earth and flowers were blossoming. I smiled again because now I knew that everything will be fine. I just had to be patient.